“Put that Smartphone down and talk to me!”
Yep! Those are the words I want to yell at almost everyone these days. And I mean everyone; friends and strangers alike.
I first noticed this feeling a few months ago. As I was sitting in Starbucks in Bangkok last summer, I was distracted by a group of teenage girls who walked in silently. Why was I distracted? Because they were not talking to one another.
As I looked up from my iPhone I noticed the girls sit down and continue to ignore one another while they had their noses buried in their smartphones.
I swear they proceeded to text each other. That's right, they were texting instead of talking.
I was flaberghasted! How could this generation choose rapid finger movements over human interaction?
What has the world come to. My mind was racing, could this possibly be the downfall of our civilization as we know it?
Beep! Beep! I was snapped out of my “Deep Thoughts” by the email notification on my iPhone.
As I looked down at that illuminated screen I realized I was not just witnessing this downfall, I was part of it.
Now perhaps using the phrase “downfall” is a little harsh but man it sure seems like it these days.
As “Social Interaction” becomes the new buzzphrase I can't help but think that there is some irony to that.
People spend more time with their nose in their smartphone, computer or iPad then they do talking to one another face to face.
How is that social?
Shouldn't we be laughing and joking with one another in person instead of attaching an LOL to the end of a text message?
Of course we should. I read a statistic the other day that the average teen fields 3400 text messages a month!! That is insane!
Humans need person to person contact, that is a fact.
Yet we have become lazy and instead of picking up the phone to have a conversation we are sending out tweets or BBM's.
Technology and Travel
I think I have become ultra sensitive to this by being a traveller. It never ceases to amaze me, that no matter where I go I can be connected.
I have been on the back of a Camel in the Thar desert in India while my guide is texting back and forth with his friend.
I have been to Mount Everst Base camp where you can check your email and at the bottom of the world in Antarctica where I have updated a facebook status.
I have been on tours through breathtaking scenery and stunning vistas only to see my traveling companions (and myself) insanely snap instagram photos to edit and upload to their followers.
And then spend the rest of their time staring at their screens to see how many people are paying attention to them instead of looking up from their phones and enjoying the moment.
I have sat at dinners where people spend more time comparing what someone said on their twitter feeds that they are both looking at rather than talking to each other about their day.
What Happened to Simplicity?
Not only has travel changed but life has changed.
Attention spans are getting shorter and the minute someone is left alone to their own devices or if there is a lull in the conversation.
Everyone instantly reaches for their phone to see what their friends ate for breakfast or what funny link they posted on Facebook.
People can't even go into a restaurant or coffee shop unless it has free wifi.
Gone are the days when someone went to the coffee shop to relax, read a book or have a conversation with friends.
No, now people pull out their laptops, sit on their Blackberry's or browse on their iPads and sit in silence laughing with people that they have never met.
Nobody takes any time to reflect, take a deep breath and enjoy their surroundings, they're too busy being hypnotized by dancing cats online.
Now I really cannot complain (but I will) as I am just as guilty as all of you reading this sitting in a coffe shop, but doesn't it seem like the world has turned into an episode of the Twilight Zone?
Never Turning Off
While technology has made much of travel easier, like how you can get recommendations from friends in an instant, find out the best place to eat at your fingertips, follow your google map back to your hotel or view photos of a destination in seconds, it also makes it harder to get away.
How many people go on vacation and never check their email?
Those of you who raised your hands I am sure you are in the minority.
The world has gotten smaller. But as the world shrinks your workload gets larger and even though you are on vacation you can't help but think of the backlog of emails that will be facing you when you get home.
So what do you do? Sneak a peek on the hotel computer or your smartphone at the beach.
I've seen it, hell I've done it. Does that make me a bad person? What does it say about us? Are we unable to relax?
As I write this article I have checked my email twice, posted a status update on Facebook and sent a photo out on Instagram.
All this and I haven't uttered a word to Deb as she is sitting right beside me.
The point of this post (if there is one) is that you don't have to change the way you travel, the way you live or the way you do business.
All I ask is that the next time you go to send that email, text or send a status update maybe a face to face meeting and some human interaction would serve you better.
After all, an LOL over a Social network is far less satisfying than talking about the day's events over a beer…for me at least.
Katie says
I am not even 18 yet, so I am in the generation that is addicted to their smartphones and social media. I have both myself, but I hate them. I love the simple things in life like reading a book at a coffee shop, laying in the grass looking at the clouds, or listening to some records. Anyways, I enjoy living this way, but it feels lonely; I wish more people my age had this similar mindset as me. Most of the people I know do not live this way. That is why I am conflicted. Do I delete all social media and fully embrace life? The downside of this is that I will be disconnected from people my age since they are all on their phones. If anyone has any advice for me, please help.
Paula says
Everday i wanna cry because my husband and daughter spend there days looking at their cell Phone. I get days that i feel sick and want to vomit. I am sad lately. Just want to talk laugh go outside whatch tv and have fun. But instead i sit at home and look at them both and nobody bothers. How can that be fun and make anyone happy tell me. I am so sad and depressed
Nat No says
and I am reading this on my smartphone.. as this has been posted on the internet..
debndave says
haha, touché 🙂
Raf Kiss says
I hate to admit it, but I just installed “Whatsapp” on my phone. My wife was away on a course for 2 weeks and sure enough our smartphones kept us connected. With that app, you can send messages the same way as SMS’s but this is via wifi… so a lot less expensive 🙂
What can I say? Please don’t hate me 🙂
debndave says
Haha, we don’t hate you. That Watsapp sounds like a great app. We’ll have to check it out.
Rob says
My wife and I were texting each other about this subject only the other day 😉
debndave says
Haha, 😀
Angela says
So spot-on, it’s very frustrating to see how people are losing touch with reality through the means of Facebook, Twitter, iPhones, and this kind of stuff. They are just tools and they are becoming life. So sad. Last time I went to India I was forced to stay two full weeks without Internet because I was in a village with barely electricity, it was excellent, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
debndave says
I think that is going to become popular in the future. I think that people are actually going to start taking vacations that will take them away from their electronics. I believe there will be a movement soon.
Reena @ Wanderplex says
You know what, I couldn’t agree with you more on this issue. I’ve been to dinners, parties etc where everyone is on their phones doing God knows what rather than talking to each other. I’ll be the only person sitting there NOT on my phone because I find that rude and pointless. Socialize with the people that are right there, not with people on the other side of an internet connection! Argh, it really gets on my nerves!
Lauren Schaad says
What a great read. This is why travel is so refreshing. I find that outside of the United States, with the exception of a few countries, people spend more time naturally interacting with each other. It’s what we really crave, after all.
Turtle says
Err…ummm… sorry. I promise we’ll talk more next time! 🙂
Duncan @ Travelistic says
It happens to alot of people unfortunately, and i have been guilty of it too!
I am considering a tech blackout for a few weeks to see how i go. Totally disconnect from my phone, internet, everything. I think it could be an eye-opening experience!
Duncan
Abby says
Good rant — don’t even get me started on what it’s done to dating!!
cosmoHallitan says
I’m probably one of the few people in the world who doesn’t have a smart phone. This makes it easy to relax when traveling as I couldn’t share to social media even if I wanted to. But as a new blogger, I know that this will hurt my growth. It’s a tough balance. But being conscious of the issue is a great first step! There is a time and a place for everything. At dinner with your friends or family? No phones allowed. Waiting for a train? Tweet away!
Christina says
I’m relieved that I’m not the only one writing posts and checking email and instagramming and facebooking at the same time. Really, it’s distracting and makes me less productive. I usually switch off my wifi whilst I write, that way I’m not tempted. No phones on the table when we eat, or eat out, either. That’s a good rule to have. And when meeting with friends, and I feel like I have to check FB or Twitter, I ask to be excused for 2 mins.
cheryl says
There are lots of good points here and I’m very guilty of loving my iPhone more than I should. As much as Im addicted, I make sure to take 2-3 evenings a week where I’m not using my phone or my computer and just hang out with friends. It’s nice to be offline sometimes.
Priyank says
I think our obsession with social media and the need for instant gratification is to blame for this. I can upload a picture and get twenty likes and five comments in no time and without having to do much. That’s so lazy. Thankfully both of us have stayed away from upgrading to smart phones, I still have a device that’s clunky and can be used as a weapon if need be, lol 😉
Chantelle says
(raises hand) My name is Chantelle and I am guilty of this too! I’m not proud of it. I always laugh at those couples who would spend more time texting/Googling/Facebooking rather than actually speaking while eating dinner. And I vowed to never do that….I catch myself doing it though.
People would rather check out of the moment vs. living in it. I was raised to live in the moment…take in the sights and sounds of life each day…but, instead I find myself taking in my friend’s posts on Facebook or photos on Instagram. I rarely pick up the phone to call anyone…instead, I send a message, text or email. This is scary….and I suppose..it will get worse as cooler, faster, and smarter phones are released.
Andrea says
Such a shame, isn’t it? I’m very much in favour of the “local movement” – basically that people should spend more time getting to know and interacting with the people who live right next door to them (or as you have noted here, just sitting in the same room when you’re out and about). This would be much better than the way most of us stay plugged into Facebook, Twitter, SMS, etc. and ignore what is happening right in front of our faces. If we formed more cohesive groups with people in close proximity to us, think about how much stronger we would become as a society. The distance fragments us and ultimately makes us easier to control because we’re too dependent on importing things and buying products from faraway lands. Instead, what about getting to know your neighbours and what they are good at? Barter would solve a lot of economic problems ad encourage people to develop tangible skills instead of just becoming specialists in the corporate honeycomb. Unfortunately as an expat I’m often guilty of not practicing what I preach because almost all of my relationships are with people spread out all over the globe. I don’t speak very good Norwegian yet and people here can be a bit closed. That said, we know all our neighbours and speak to them when we see each other. I’ve never had that before. You’ve touched on a much greater social issue here. Don’t get me wrong, globalisation can be wonderful, but more and more I see its damaging effects than the positives.
Jackie Smith says
Thank God you’ve rescued me from the brink of breakdown. We just returned from Italy where we watched scenario after scenario of people with their heads bent over their iPhone sipping wine as couples, sightseeing, or visiting in groups. The same thing on the cruise ship where minutes cost like gold nuggets, yet there they were staying in touch. I am posting this on my FB page and tweeting it as well so that friends understand why I am sticking with the ‘dumb’ phone and not allowing myself into this futurescape.
debndave says
Well done Jackie! Stick with the dumb phone over the smart phone, your brain will thank you:)
David Bennett says
There’s definitely something wrong.
We don’t know what it is.
We think maybe things will change in a year or two.
But meanwhile, everybody is doing it – and it IS interesting.
I wonder what people looked like before they had phones to look at?
Nora - The Professional Hobo says
I first noticed this trend a few years ago when I went back to Toronto for a visit. And when I wrote about it, it seemed that many of the commenters didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with it; that in fact maybe it’s safer NOT to interact with your environment!
(Here’s the post: http://www.theprofessionalhobo.com/2011/07/a-moment-in-time-on-a-toronto-subway/)
Since then I’ve seen exactly what you describe; rooms full of teens, none of whom actually speak to one another in favour of texting each other. I live with a teen who prefers to text me from the other room rather than just open her mouth!
And unfortunately, I think it’s all contributing to a slow decline (or evolution, depending on how you look at it) of the English language, and the art of person-to-person communication:
http://www.theprofessionalhobo.com/2012/10/the-art-of-communication-relationships-and-the-trappings-of-nomadic-living/
Hang on. I gotta go. Somebody just texted me.
🙂
The Traveling Fool says
What amazes me is how 12 year old girls can text with two fingers at the speed of sound when I can barley see the damn keys.
Salika Jay says
I didn’t realize how bad it has become until I read this post. I guess we’re so used to it now and it has become a norm. Even my hubby checks for wifi while we wait to check in to a hotel. On the plus side, it has increased the level of global communication but sad to see how we depend on technology to speak to the person right next to you. I can’t imagine how it would be like in another 10 years.
debndave says
That’s a legitimate fear for sure. We’re guilty of it. I noticed the other day while we were out for dinner. Dave went to the bathroom and I couldn’t even spend a few minutes by myself thinking and relaxing. I had to check my twitter feed while he was gone just because I didn’t have anything else to do. When did my attention span shrink so much?
Sal says
This might be the downfall of personal/interpersonal communication. What happens to communication is people use electronic devices to transmit messages. What happens is meaning can be arbitrary. Misunderstanding is high!
debndave says
Ah so true. I try to keep sarcasm to a minimum on the internet because it’s difficult to communicate. Some people may get it, others may not. Many misunderstandings happen online. While some people are simply trying to be funny, it can come off mean or rude, (even if they don’t mean it to be)
Elizabeth says
I totally understand what you mean. It seems everyone and their mom finds it in imperative to spend 800 dollars on a cell phone and then be on it all the time! I am ony 25 but I feel like such an old fart with my fight against the smart phone. I have a 20 dollar phone that I can top up at the nearest 7/11 and I can simply call and text on it. Just what I need it for! I know I will probably fold eventually but I just cant justify spending so much money on something when I am basically on the internet on my computer all day anyways. When I go out, I feel great talking and interacting with people, not worrying about checking my email from my boss.. Down with smartphones! 🙂
debndave says
Hi Elizabeht. So glad to hear that even someone at 25 years old feels the same. We always wonder if we turned into our parents saying “when I was that age
;-)Maybe it is more my generation than yours that are the culprits. I know that a lot of moms spend time online and I know that a lot of my friends spend too much time on their phones. It’s a new novelty to us all. And you are so right! Where are our priorities that we are all constantly upgrading our phones every six months. Couldn’t our hard earned money go to a better use?Stephanie - The Travel Chica says
One of my biggest pet peeves. I think most people use the SmartPhone technology to disengage rather than connect.
debndave says
Yep, I think you are right. We use it as an excuse not to see and speak to people. I’ve done it. I’ve noticed that I’m getting worse at interacting with people. I’m making a point to change that right now.
Ramin the Thailand Travel Experience Designer says
So agree, thanks for getting a discussion going on about it. I love technology and all the merits I reap from being connected with my smartphone – but I love real people so much more, and I’ll have a real conversation with a real person over a chat or skype call with someone anytime.
Exchanging a smile with a stranger.
Noticing the old lady who gets on the train and doesn’t have a seat and offering yours.
Making a silly face to make a kid laugh.
It’s these little things that actually don’t matter, but really, they do.
debndave says
Hi Ramin, it looks like you have found the balance that everyone else is searching for. You raise a great point about offering your seat on the train. So many people have their noses buried in their cell phones that they wouldn’t even notice the poor woman needing to sit down. Yes, these exchanged with people really do matter. It makes me smile when I think of all the amazing interactions we have had with people over the years.
Linda says
I have to laugh, guys. As I read this I just returned from a long day at WTM – so you can undoubtedly imagine how this resonated with me! My phone has been stolen & so I only have an old Nokia right now – which made me the only person not tweeting or FBing – how much of an outsider do y???ou think it made me feel
debndave says
Ha, I know. I always feel like I should be tweeting more. Dave and I share a phone between the two of us, so we aren’t on it as much as others, so I really notice it. Sometimes we think that we should get another phone but then we say that we’d end up being on it all the time so I think for now, we’ll stay with one. That way we keep each other in check. When one of us is on it for too long, we tell them to get of.
Jeremy Branham says
Thank you for this. This is a HUGE problem in our society. We wonder why people are depressed, have family problems, have pyschopaths out there who kill people and do horrible things to kids. We are ALL connected to one another but forgot what it means to have relationship with PEOPLE.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves in the world. It’s why I resisted the smart phone thing for years until a couple of months ago. I ABHOR the barriers the phones have created. Technology is a good thing. However, it’s not always good for us.
Glad you shared this the way you did. I would have pissed people off if I wrote this 🙂
debndave says
Well said Jeremy. I noticed that I was getting edgy and depressed and realized it was because I was always plugged in. Dave and I have made a point of getting off the internet after 7:00 because we need time to enjoy each others company, the evening and time to clear our heads and not think about work or anything on line. It has been proving that being on the computer and engaging in social media causes depression and I believe it. We have to work on having a balance instead of letting it take over our lives.
Jo (The Blond) says
I agree…but I’m guilty as charged
debndave says
Yep, we are too. We’re working on logging off and it is difficult when it’s your business, but like all good professionals, it’s important to leave your work at the office and not take it home with you. So now, when we are not traveling, we have set hours that we work whether it all gets done or not and we make sure that we don’t check the email or social media before going to bed. When we’re traveling, we make sure to not spend all day online and instead immerse ourselves in our travels and the experience.
Matthew Karsten says
I think the addiction is to social media. The phone is just a tool.
Mine is used in place of a notepad & pen, point & shoot camera, calculator, guidebook, and many other things. So I’m on it a lot, making it look like I’m not engaged, when I’m really recording notes/photos of what I’m seeing in order to write about it later. It saves time & space, letting me see more I’d argue.
The phone is not the bad guy, your social media apps are. Delete them! Or at least make them hard to pull up. 🙂
Raf Kiss says
I already deleted the Facebook app on mine… Funny thing is that now I keep getting these messages in the top drop-down that my Facebook connection has been lost (yeah, I deleted the app, Duh). I just cannot get rid of those. Maybe there’s another app that takes care of getting the Facebook app off of your phone 🙂
As long as we keep busy… I do like the camera and calculator apps.
debndave says
That’s a great idea. We don’t have any push notifications hooked up on our iphone so we have to actually go to the site to see when someone leaves us a message. I can’t imagine getting a notification every time someone tweets us or sends us a message, but most people do it. I have no idea how to get rid of the app, bummer. Even when you try to leave, Facebook won’t let you.
debndave says
You are right Matthew, it’s definitely social media. I think it is a great thing that you are using it as a notepad and pen. I started doing that too. I can now carry my iPhone as my note pad and point and shoot camera and that’s all I need. Unfortunately, most of us don’t delete our apps or social media and that’s what most people are spending their time on. I hope the trend changes soon, but I think it’s only going to get worse.
Andi of My Beautiful Adventures says
I could never travel now without my iPhone, having said that I am disgusted with how obsessed our world has become with our phones. On the last press trip I was on, the journalists were more concerned with their phones than appreciating their surroundings or making new friends.
debndave says
I know, it’s tough. We’ve been swept up in it too. Especially on press trips. You see everyone tweeting and sending instagram photos and you feel that you have to join in. I think everyone starts to feed off of one another. When we’re traveling alone, we are much more grounded and definitely enjoy the moment more. I love sharing on Instagram and tweeting while traveling, I just don’t want it consume me. I think everyone is starting to do it too much and it’s good to check ourselves every once in a while.
Gillian @OneGiantStep says
I don’t mind that we all have technology now and can stay connected but I DO hate it if you’re checking your phone at dinner, or during a conversation with me – I am apt to just walk away, I mean, if you can’t pay attention, why should I? Do you think it’s a sign of our age Dave? Do the younger folk not feel so outraged by it? Damn but I hate that I even had to type that sentence!!!
debndave says
I so agree with you Gillian. I’ve noticed that people don’t listen to anyone anymore. You’ll be in the middle of a conversation and someone will check their phone while your talking or completely change the subject because they just read a funny tweet. It’s unbelievable, they might as well walk away because what they did is just as much of an insult. I don’t think that the younger generation minds at all and I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. Are they better at multitasking or are their attention spans shrinking and they are going to be in big trouble in the future? Only time will tell.
Jude says
The lack of actual listening that goes on the few verbal conversations that happen these days is appalling (and also what brought me here!) I am a twenty-year-old iphone-less college student and I have noticed a severe decline in the quantity of meaningful conversations. Many classes I’m taking are discussion oriented, but few speak up. My guess is they’d be far more willing to make a comment if they could do so via a reply button. Most of them are preoccupied by Pinterest or Facebook on their laptops, so the class suffers. Don’t get me wrong, I have a Nook and numerous social media pages and they are great in some aspects. But when the pressure of getting “likes” overrides the importance of the person in front of you, we’ve encountered a problem. I can’t count the number of times I’ve trailed off a story because suddenly a SnapChat is more urgent than my life. I don’t like the way we are headed, but I am very much a minority with my dumb-phone and affinity for wooden pencils over keyboards. I don’t know what will happen with my generation and I’m sure no one else will know unless someone makes a hashtag about it.
debndave says
Great to hear that twenty year olds are starting to think about this too. We have wondered if it is a generational thing. We work on social media and on our phones, but because we weren’t brought up with them, we have no problem setting them down during conversations, when we’re out for a night, when we’re listening to a lecture…our cell phones aren’t on our mind constantly, but I fear that is becoming the trend.
Laurence says
Lol – I love it. One solution to this problem I’ve heard of is the phone pile game. Everyone puts their phones on a pile in the middle of the table. Whoever breaks and picks up their phone first has to buy the drinks. Seems like a plan to me 😉
debndave says
I like that plan! I’m going to play it wherever I go.
Raf Kiss says
It’s scary how technology is taking over… The other day in a hostel, I saw this couple checking in. After dropping off their backpacks in the room, they came back down, both with a laptop and they spent the rest of the day sitting next to each other, chatting on Facebook and not speaking to each other… most other people in the room were checking stuff on their I-phone, I-pad or netbook. The first question somebody asks these days when looking for a room: Do you have WiFi? Sad but true. I only got a smartphone a few months ago (tried to put it off as long as I could) but now I hate to admit that I too have become sort of a WiFi addict. 🙂
debndave says
Raf, you are so right. Dave and I have used the excuse that we do this for a living to justify our time spent on the computer and it’s not healthy at all. We would watch other couples do what we’re doing and make ourselves feel better by saying “yeah, but we do it for a living.” We ended up using that crutch so much that we spent more time on our computers than actually seeing the sights. We didn’t use to spend this amount of time with our noses in the phone or at the computers when we first started blogging and once we made the effort to stick to a schedule and make sure to get offline, we found that we didnt’ need to be on as much as we were. The internet will be there without us:)
Raf Kiss says
I guess there is no escape, is there? You guys do it for a living, that is true, but in fact, if the technology wouldn’t be available, it would be extremely hard, if not impossible to make a living the way you and so many other people are doing now, right? Traveling sure became a lot less romantic over the last 10-20 years… I remember when “traveling” meant that you would literally disappear for 3 weeks, calling home once or twice (too expensive or difficult) and sending postcards (only to close friends and family) on the first day, hoping they would arrive before you got back home with 3 or 4 rolls of film that took another 2 weeks to get developed, and you all the time not knowing if the pictures would look good or not. What a different time that was. 🙂
debndave says
Hi Raf, you raise a great point. We comment on that point a lot, that without social media and the internet, we wouldn’t have this job. We been traveling since the 90’s and like you see a huge difference. We used to stand in line at the USO in Guam to call home, not take one photograph, and not speak to family for weeks at a time. Then again, we had to work at other jobs and always had to go home. This has allowed us to keep traveling and we are grateful for that, but we do want to find that balance between what it used to be like and what it is today. A year ago, we had that balance, somehow we lost it this year. We spent too much time on social media and worrying about being connected during our travels rather than enjoying the moment. I’m just glad that we noticed that about ourselves now before it was too late.
I love that you mentioned photography. We used to look forward to getting our film developed when we got home. It was like re-living the trip all over again.
Raf Kiss says
One thing I really don’t miss about the “good old times” is that after the wait to get your precious pictures developed, you find out that just that one picture that you hoped would be good, actually isn’t and you cannot go back to take another one. In that sense modern technology is priceless, LOL
Raf Kiss says
Came across this today… hilarious and completely relevant to this post 🙂
Robin williams on today’s use of phones: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t52GrSUjVLg
Cheers
Raf