When most people think of a vacation together, they envision tropical islands and places for romance relaxing in paradise. Tahiti, the Bahama’s, Hawaii that is where most sane couples go to rejuvenate and bring that spark back to their relationship.
Well, Dave and I aren’t most people and when we go away, we always seem to wind up doing trips that are the exact opposite of romance. Sure, we have been to resorts and 5 star hotels, but it is always the suffering that stands out in our minds when we reminisce. When we truly test our relationship and survive the insane and ridiculous, that is when we know that we are meant to be together forever.
Here is a list of some of our least romantic situations we have encountered during our travels of the world so far.
1. Slathering butt butter, Chamois Cream, Bag Balm…whatever you want to call it on our bums every morning for the first 2 months of cycling Africa. In our little 2 man North Face Tent, we would lay in the dark and cool mornings dressing and getting ready for a 100+ km day of riding. It wasn’t a good morning. There was never any romance or snuggling under the sleeping back. Instead we would get up, lather up and pack our tent and see each other in a few hours at the next camp. How is that for romance?
2. Relieving ourselves in tandem on both Mount Kilimanjaro and Mount Kinabalu.
I don’t know what it is, but Dave and I always seem to be in sync with our bowel movements when we are at altitude. We both walk side by side for hours on end, and then we both have the need to go to the bathroom at the same time. Thank God we always summit in the dark, I couldn’t imagine trying to squat on a sheer face in broad day light. It’s not romantic, but it is definitely a bonding moment.
3. Having roaches crawl all over us during a trek to the pinnacles.
We thought that we were staying in pretty good digs when we saw our vynal matts lined up along a raised wooden platform. We settled in for the night with 7 other people and thought that we would be well rested for our climb the next day. That is until the creepy crawlies came out. I didn’t turn on my flashlight to see what it was, I thought it better that I don’t know. But in the morning everyone was talking about the cockroaches crawling all over. I thought, well, it could have been worse, it could have been something poisonous.
3b Being eaten alive by bed bugs on more than one occasion.
4. Getting in a motorcycle accident together in Ko Samui and laying side by side in the hospital as they cleaned our wounds. Dave’s was worse than mine and he had it scraped with a razor blade as he bit on a towel. I watched on as he bit down on the towel and could do nothing as the doctors scraped away his burnt and dead infected skin. Nice. We then spent what should have been a romantic ending tour our time in Thailand limping around paradise and getting our dressings changed daily.
4. Sharing a single bed in a room with another couple that was in the other single bed. In Kuala Lumpur, we were too cheap and tired to find a place in our budget after returning from the Cameron Highlands. We had to leave early for Borneo the next morning anyway, so 4 of us crammed into a tiny room with 2 single beds and set our alarms for 5 am. We didn’t get a lot of sleep that night.
5. Anytime we stayed in a dorm room. As a couple, we don’t often stay in dorms or hostels. But every once in a while be it during a trek, a climb or an excursion, that is the only option that there is. I snore by the way, luckily Dave sleeps like a log, I feel bad for anyone else that is stuck in a room with me.
There is a pattern here that always has to do with sleeping arrangements.
6. Staying in a bungalow in Kao Sok National Park. It was a pristine setting with and pretty little huts. It should have been a quiet and romantic little getaway from our trekking in Asia. Unfortunately every night, just as we were about to turn in, the cock fights began and we had to listen to the screaming and wailing chickens all night long. My heart broke.
7. Rubbing the bottom raw during a horse back ride
It was 1997 and Dave and I were on our honeymoon. We decided to take an excursion on the beach in the Dominican Republic. We decided to ride horses on the beach in sweat pants might I add. Dave did not have a good time, and for the next 2 days he could not sit down or get in the water to get relief from the warm Caribbean air. We should have known that this was the start of a couple that likes to travel and rough it rather than take romantic vacations. We have both since learned how to ride.
8. Our time in Mui Ne Vietnam should have been the most romantic part of our trip.
A cabana on the beach, beautiful scenery and perfect weather. Well, I had terrible ulcers in my mouth and throat from my Doxycylin (malaria medication) and Dave had enjoyed too many Vietnamese Iced Teas in Saigon. On our way out of the city, we saw a man dragging a giant blog of ice on a burlap sack down the road, and right then, we knew that Dave was going to be in trouble. Sure enough, we was sick for 3 days. Neither of us could eat. Dave couldn’t keep anything down, and I was way too sore to swallow. So we layed in our bed under the ceiling fan and prayed for relief to finally come.
10. Our Last 2 Days in Lima before flying out, we wanted to have a pamper me time after all our treks and adventures. We splurged on a nice hotel and even ate at Tony Roma’s overlooking the water for lunch. After lunch I didn’t even make it back to the hotel before I started vomiting. Diarrhea followed and we missed our last day of sightseeing as I puked and crapped all day and night. I can’t even look at Tony Roma’s ever again.
Look at the hair indeed! LOL! I thought sharing a singe bed in KL was pretty romantic! I could also see the romantic side to lying side by side in a hospital in Koh Samui!
You guys are too funny! Thanks for sharing the dark side of traveling as well.
Can’t stop laughing about the first one. So romantic.
Heh Heh – my boyfriend and I have had our own (similar) share of unromantic experiences on the road too! The worst for me is being sick….at a time when you want “home” the most, but instead you are leaned over a putrid squat toilet and puking for the umpteenth time/riding in the back of a pick-up truck puking into a plastic bag/enduring a 4 hour bus ride in the summer heat and puking into a paper bag….you get the idea!
Haha, great post. I did a brief stint of travel with a girlfriend, fortunately I never came across any serious un-romantic situations such as these. I’m sure someday I’ll share information about my digestive regularity with a significant other, but I’m far far far away from that. And hope to keep it that way for now. lol. Great stuff though. You guys crack me up.
This actually sounds like the most romantic post ever! This is what love is made of:) I can’t even tell you how romantic some of my husband and my experiences are. Maybe roaches and bed bugs can be taken off the list, but the rest is what makes a couple who they are:)
I’m leaving in 3 months to go travelling with my girlfriend for a year. this post is an interesting insite into the same situations we might find ourselves in and i’ve never seen someone right about it before. thanks for the incite
Girl, you spin a tale of love that will last through the ages…and have introduced “butt butter” to my vocabulary, for which I will be ever grateful!
I’m having a hard time deciding which of these examples is less appealing, so I’ll settle on your visual of vinyl mats crawling with roaches. Just delicious, no?
But before anyone thinks that a stay at a 5-star hotel would keep one exempt from distress: At a gorgeous resort in San Jose del Cabo, Mexico in August 2004, my husband treated himself to an after-dinner glass of Bailey’s Irish Cream at the most elegant restaurant on the property. Turned out, the dairy-based apertif had never, ever been refrigerated…
We now refer to that, our 5th anniversary, as “The Long Night of His Discontent.”
definitely agree with number 2 (err, was there a logic behind the choice of number?!)… nothing like the reality of bush toilets to take your relationship to the next level!
haha, I must have made it number 2 subconsciously. Didn’t even notice until you mentioned it.
This is a great topic for an article and really funny! Travelling really doesn’t bring about the most romantic situations…but then those are the moments you somehow remember the most!
Thanks, I will have to submit a querie somewhere. It is true, we seem to remember the struggling times more than the romantic getaways in the 5 star resorts. Don’t get me wrong though, I love the 5 star resorts!
I think it’s probably the horse riding trip which takes the biscuit. Given that really should have been romantic. LOL funny. Great post.
.-= Theodora´s last blog ..The 7 Link Challenge =-.
The horseback riding has brought us years of enjoyment around the dinner table. It always comes up at Thanksgiving or something like that. Very funny.
Oh yes. And you’ve inspired me to do my own 7 Link Challenge. Which brings home how much I need to look at this blogging lark. Here it is…
http://travelswithanineyearold.com/2010/07/31/7-link-challenge-travel-family-children-kids/
.-= Theodora´s last blog ..The 7 Link Challenge =-.
I know exactly what you mean about dorm living. We tried to save a few bucks on short nights in Australia, and had no idea that we had also signed up for front row seats to a Eminem Lip-sync contest. I still don’t understand why the theme song from 8-Mile is popular after 8 years (popular enough to incite a guy to literally jump into a wall.)
This post made me chuckle! But I guess if you could get through all of that then you must be destined for each other!
.-= Spencer´s last blog ..Casa Colonial Beach & Spa Puerto Plata =-.
ROFLMAO!! err, roomless even at 1am. Hungry but no cafe open!
Funny but true story of traveling couple
I know something about it.
May not be super romantic but is definitely very strengthening for the relationship.
All best and safe travels.
But then, didn’t all of these situations bring you guys closer together?
Love that pic of you two in Dom Rep! And I can totally relate about the dorm room issue – Scott and I have stayed in about 4 dorm rooms our whole trip (only ever for one night when we knew we were leaving town early the next day) and they have always ended up being the worst nights’ sleep we’ve had or one of us has been bitten by bed bugs!