There are many solo travel blogs out there that talk about how traveling is solo is great and we admire the people that travel alone.  It takes a strong person of a certain breed that can go out into the world solo and explore.

We are not those people.

Traveling as a couple is all we know.  Having been together since we were in college, Dave and I have only ever traveled together and we have made it work for each other.

Over the years we have developed a system and have found traveling as a couple provides a lot of benefits as opposed to going it alone.

Here are the things that we have found made our life easier because we travel as a couple.

Why Travel as a Couple is Better than Solo Travel

1. Good cop bad cop – When traveling in a third world country everything involves bartering.  Hotel rooms, taxi’s, shopping, tours… everything involves working out a bargain.  Dave is great at playing hardball and if he were a solo traveler people might find him a little too hard and probably wouldn’t get his deals. But traveling as a couple is easier for Dave by having a woman (me) with him smiling as he works his magic helps to smooth the rough edges.  When they are stating a price and he is saying no, they look to me for support. I smile and laugh and they give in a bit while Dave gives in a bit and we all go home happy and having a good time.

2. TLC – Tender Loving Care.  It is inevitable. Everyone is bound to fall ill during travels.  It could be travelers diarrhea, the flu, headache or fatigue.  Having a person take care of you makes everything better.  Being sick while traveling is not fun, but being sick alone in your hotel room is even worse.  Having your other half there to give you sympathy, tell you everything will get better, give you a back rub or bring you some water makes being ill just a little easier to take.

3. Sounding Board- Bartering can be exhausting and sometimes we just don’t know how much to pay for something.  All we can do is discuss it with each other and see if it is a price that we are happy with.  We can sound off on each other to see if a person is ripping us off and we can slow each other down before buying too impulsively.  It helps out the budget a lot. Traveling alone you have to go with your instincts and hope for the best. Traveling as a couple, you can discuss things rationally first and then make an informed desicion.

4. Strengths – We each have our own strengths in the relationship and can divide the workload.  I am very good at packing and organizing and Dave is very good at planning and researching.  If we had to rely on me to plan a trip, we wouldn’t see anything. If Dave were in charge of packing, we would have the entire house including the kitchen sink.  I don’t have the attention span to do research, but Dave is great at checking out what there is to do in a place.  When traveling as a couple we can use each others strengths to make things run smoothly.  I putter around the room organizing, washing the clothes and packing up the bags while Dave reads up on the place. He runs it by me after he has thoroughly explored what we should do and we are both happy.  Dave and I are a little anomaly, we like the same things, feel the same about places and situations and have the same interests. It can be annoying to other people, but it makes travel very easy for this adventure couple.

5.  Sharing the Experience – Couples that Travel together get to share the experience together.  It is admirable that people are self-sufficient and fulfilled enough to enjoy a place on their own.  We however need someone to share it with.  There is nothing better than enjoying a beautiful sunrise, conquering a great peak or witnessing a rare site with the person that you love.  We have built memories together to talk about for years to come.

6. Inspiration – Traveling as a couple can open each other up to new opportunities.  We can inspire each other to try new things.   If one of us is a little wary of something, we can be each others cheerleaders.  We love telling each other just how great we are

7. Safety – Traveling together offers a little more safety than traveling solo.  Getting into a rickshaw or taxi feels a lot better when there are two of you as opposed to being alone.  Safety in numbers we always say.  We can watch each others backs and not feel threatened.  Many times I say to Dave, “I don’t know how people can do this alone.” But they can and do and they are a stronger person than me. I will stick to traveling with Dave.

8. Care for our Gear -We can keep an eye on our packs and gear when one of us has to go to the bathroom or buy some tickets.  Someone can stay with the packs while another gets in line. As a couple, our gear is never left alone on a train or bus or anywhere.  Someone is always there to keep an eye on it and we don’t have to worry about bringing our bags into nasty bathrooms to keep an eye on it. I can even give Dave my scarf and purse when I have to go into a scary toilet.  You don’t want to take the chance of anything falling in, so having someone to hold onto your things eliminates that problem.

9. Company – We see a lot of solo travelers at dinner. While I tend to be a chatty one and strike up a conversation with them, (most times they are happy to talk) I see many people just reading a book or sitting silently.   I know, I know, a lot of people like being alone.  We just aren’t those people.  We love talking at dinner, playing travel scrabble or cards, we love to talk talk about the days events and we just never seem to get bored.  Even on a long train ride, we have company.   When we hook up with other travelers or people on the road it is even better.  We are a couple that loves have company,  the more the merrier on our journey we say.

10. Support - Travel can be exhausting.  People hassle you daily for rickshaw rides, tours and any other sale they can think of.  Sometimes you just don’t want to talk to anyone.  Traveling as a couple can allow each of us to have a break when we need it.  When one of us is having an off day, the other can take over.  They can field the questions and shelter the other person.  When one of us is feeling stronger than the other, we can take over the duties of inspecting hotel rooms to make sure they are livable, deciding on a price or simply answering the questions of a curious local.  The other person can sit and wallow for a couple of hours or for the day and not have to deal with a thing or talk to anyone.  It works out very well having a support system.  We also have each other to vent to so that we don’t have to take our frustrations out on the poor receptionist or vendor.  We couldn’t travel if we didn’t have each other for support.

While we admire all the solo travelers out there, we are very happy to be able to travel with the person that we love. Maybe one day some of you solo travelers will find that certain someone to allow you to give traveling as a couple a shot!  It can be an adjustment to have someone around every day, but we think traveling as a couple is a very rewarding experience.

Well, Dave and I aren’t most people and when we go away, we always seem to wind up doing trips that are the exact opposite of romance.  Sure, we have been to resorts and 5 star hotels, but it is always the suffering that stands out in our minds when we reminisce. When we truly test our relationship and survive the insane and ridiculous, that is when we know that we are meant to be together forever.

Here is a list of some of our least romantic situations we have encountered during our travels of the world so far.

1. Slathering butt butter, Chamois Cream, Bag Balm…whatever you want to call it on our bums every morning for the first 2 months of cycling Africa. In our little 2 man North Face Tent, we would lay in the dark and cool mornings dressing and getting ready for a 100+ km day of riding. It wasn’t a good morning. There was never any romance or snuggling under the sleeping back. Instead we would get up, lather up and pack our tent and see each other in a few hours at the next camp.  How is that for romance?

Dave and Deb Camping in Africa

2. Relieving ourselves in tandem on both Mount Kilimanjaro and Mount Kinabalu.

I don’t know what it is, but Dave and I always seem to be in sync with our bowel movements when we are at altitude.  We both walk side by side for hours on end, and then we both have the need to go to the bathroom at the same time.  Thank God we always summit in the dark, I couldn’t imagine trying to squat on a sheer face in broad day light.  It’s not romantic, but it is definitely a bonding moment.

You try finding some privacy here at Mount Kinabalu Summit

3. Having roaches crawl all over us during a trek to the pinnacles.

We thought that we were staying in pretty good digs when we saw our vynal matts lined up along a raised wooden platform.  We settled in for the night with 7 other people and thought that we would be well rested for our climb the next day. That is until the creepy crawlies came out.  I didn’t turn on my flashlight to see what it was, I thought it better that I don’t know.  But in the morning everyone was talking about the cockroaches crawling all over.  I thought, well, it could have been worse, it could have been something poisonous.

3b Being eaten alive by bed bugs on more than one occasion.

4. Getting in a motorcycle accident together in Ko Samui and laying side by side in the hospital as they cleaned our wounds.  Dave’s was worse than mine and he had it scraped with a razor blade as he bit on a towel. I watched on as he bit down on the towel and could do nothing as the doctors scraped away his burnt and dead infected skin. Nice. We then spent what should have been a romantic ending tour our time in Thailand limping around paradise and getting our dressings changed daily.

motorcycle accident as a couple, so romantic

4. Sharing a single bed in a room with another couple that was in the other single bed. In Kuala Lumpur, we were too cheap and tired to find a place in our budget after returning from the Cameron Highlands.  We had to leave early for  Borneo the next morning anyway, so 4 of us crammed into a tiny room with 2 single beds and set our alarms for 5 am. We didn’t get a lot of sleep that night.

5. Anytime we stayed in a dorm room. As a couple, we don’t often stay in dorms or hostels. But every once in a while be it during a trek, a climb or an excursion, that is the only option that there is.  I snore by the way, luckily Dave sleeps like a log, I feel bad for anyone else that is stuck in a room with me.

There is a pattern here that always has to do with sleeping arrangements.

Sleeping on the deck of a ferry, how romantic

6. Staying in a bungalow in Kao Sok National Park. It was a pristine setting with and pretty little huts.  It should have been a quiet and romantic little getaway from our trekking in Asia. Unfortunately every night, just as we were about to turn in, the cock fights began and we had to listen to the screaming and wailing chickens all night long. My heart broke.

7. Rubbing the bottom raw during a horse back ride

It was 1997 and Dave and I were on our honeymoon. We decided to take an excursion on the beach in the Dominican Republic. We decided to ride horses on the beach in sweat pants might I add.  Dave did not have a good time, and for the next 2 days he could not sit down or get in the water to get relief from the warm Caribbean air. We should have known that this was the start of a couple that likes to travel and rough it rather than take romantic vacations. We have both since learned how to ride.

Riding horses on the beach of the dominican republic

8. Our time in Mui Ne Vietnam should have been the most romantic part of our trip.

A cabana on the beach, beautiful scenery and perfect weather.  Well, I had terrible ulcers in my mouth and throat from my Doxycylin (malaria medication) and Dave had enjoyed too many Vietnamese Iced Teas in Saigon. On our way out of the city, we saw a man dragging a giant blog of ice on a burlap sack down the road, and right then, we knew that Dave was going to be in trouble.  Sure enough, we was sick for 3 days. Neither of us could eat. Dave couldn’t keep anything down, and I was way too sore to swallow. So we layed in our bed under the ceiling fan and prayed for relief to finally come.

Waiting to go to the airport, not well-very romantic

10. Our Last 2 Days in Lima before flying out, we wanted to have a pamper me time after all our treks and adventures.  We splurged on a nice hotel and even ate at Tony Roma’s overlooking the water for lunch. After lunch I didn’t even make it back to the hotel before I started vomiting. Diarrhea followed and we missed our last day of sightseeing as I puked and crapped all day and night. I can’t even look at Tony Roma’s ever again.

Together on the River in the Sudan

Traveling as a couple can be difficult.

Many people will say that it can make or break a relationship.
Dave and I have traveled for months at a time together on several occasions, and we have always found that we bond even more while we are on the road. We influence and inspire each other to try new things.  We share in unique experiences and talk about them together for years to come.
We find that traveling as a couple has turned us into more well-rounded human beings than traveling alone. By keeping our minds open to each others suggestions, we end up exploring things that we never would have tried in the first place. And we end up liking things that we never thought possible.

That is not to say that being together 24/7 is easy it can be test a couple’s relationship to the fullest to be together that long day in day out, but we have found that if we follow a few of these simple rules, we can survive and thrive when we travel together as a couple.

The Travel Couple Survival Guide

1) Compromise - This is our number one recommendation to survive traveling as a couple.  We have found that a lot of couples are not willing to do this on a short vacation or even in their every day lives.. How will they survive and get along traveling for months at a time without compromise? It may sound stereotypical, but I have found that most couples are pretty much the same when it comes to what men like and women like. Men will normally go for the high adventure and sports related activities while women enjoy exploring culture, hitting the spa or shopping.  Well guess what, even Dave and I are the same way. I enjoy a good massage, a great deals on clothes and exploring museums and Dave loves jumping off of cliffs and catching waves.

Figuring it out

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Over the years however, we have both learned to enjoy both activities. We plan and discuss what each person wants to do, and then we compromise.  “I will do this if you will do that.” We will go off and climb a mountain together and bond over the incredible experience. Our relationship is so much stronger because we have just survived something extraordinary together. Once we have done the crazy extreme adrenaline filled activity we celebrate by splurging on a nice hotel and massage to really relax and enjoy the moment.
When we first started traveling, I didn’t want to spend all of my time trekking through the jungle and Dave didn’t want to spend all of his time looking at local art. Now after several years of being on the road together as a couple, we both love it all.  I can’t wait to climb my next volcano, and Dave loves bartering with the toughest salesmen for the perfect deal.

Acheiving great heights as a couple

2) Communication – This really is the key to a surviving in a relationship at anytime let alone when traveling.  I think that the success of our relationship is how well we communicate. We never play mind games and we talk about everything.  People always point out how difficult it is for men to understand women and vice versa, but I can never understand why they think that.
Dave and I know exactly when the other one is angry or upset.  It is pretty easy to read each other.  Sure, we could play dumb and ignore the signs, but really, we are all open books if you pay attention.

Most people ignore the problem hoping it will go away.

Lets face it, we all react differently to situations and while one of you may be completely enjoying an experience, the other may be hating every minute of it. The key is to not ignore how the other person is feeling. If you are at a festival or religious ceremony that is maybe uncomfortable or upsetting to your spouse, make sure to be aware of that persons feelings even if you are completely fascinated by it.  If you talk about it, you will understand where they are coming from and be more sympathetic, while you can persuade them to enjoy the moment and accept that it is something different.  No matter what, that person will feel better because you took the time to listen, and like everything in life, by talking about things, they probably won’t be so uncomfortable or upset anymore.

If you ignore how each other feels however, you will both come out of it angry; One of you for feeling that the other person ruined the moment for you, and the other for thinking that you didn’t care about their feelings.  Just save yourself the hassle and communicate. Then you can move on.

Which is a perfect segue to my next point.

The great outdoors bonds this couple together

3) Be willing to fight - As a couple, if you can’t fight with each other, you can’t survive traveling together.  We have had some epic arguments on the road, but we get over them quickly.  Travel can be frustrating, exhausting and overwhelming.  You are stuck with each other for every single moment of it and when tensions run high, you only have each other to take it out on.  Sometimes you can simply be angry because you have been traveling for 24 hours and you are exhausted.  So you take out your frustrations on the nearest person, which just happens to be your husband.  Of course you are going to fight.  You will blame each other when things go wrong and you will get on each others nerves at times.

The little things can be magnified when travelling as a couple

The biggest mistake you can make is holding it all in. It will make for a miserable experience.  Have the fight and get it over with, but then move on.  I remember once in Kanchanaburi, Thailand we couldn’t find the place that we wanted to stay at on the river.  We walked forever with our packs in the heat, and we eventually ended up on a lonely road lost in the middle of nowhere.  We were so mad at each other that we had to walk 100 metres apart.  We couldn’t stand to be around each other, but we had to keep each other in sight because we were lost. So we kept our distance and wallowed in our anger silently.  When we finally found our place and settled in, we said to each other, “I don’t feel like fighting anymore do you?” The answer was “No” of course and we went on with our day and had a great time.

Which brings us too…

4) Knowing each Others boundaries - It is good to know what is too much for one person. When traveling as a couple, you have to be aware of each others fears.  Base jumping out of a hot air balloon is a little too much for me, and Dave will draw the line at a facial or a manicure.  Don’t force something on each other when you know that there is no way the other is going to give in.  Compromise is one thing, but pushing each other beyond their comfort zone is another.  Over time, you will probably be able to get each other to try almost everything, but take baby steps at first.

Changing over Time

When we first started traveling, it was difficult for Dave to get me into a budget hotel.  Now I have camped my way through Africa, I have no qualms with squatting in a pretty awful public toilet and hey, if the bed doesn’t come with sheets, well never fear, I have brought my trusty sarong along for just that occasion.  I was afraid of heights and freaked out doing my first abseil, but now I am an avid rock climber and have even summitted Kilimanjaro. Baby steps have eventually turned me into an extreme adventurer.
And as for Dave, well when we first started traveling, he didn’t care if we ever left Canada. He was fine with the odd vacation to the Caribbean where he could go Para Sailing or scuba diving to get his adrenaline fix. He used to care about cars, gadgets and toys but now, he is a minimalist because “you never know when you will be taking off again and stuffing everything into storage.”  He was a staple “meat and potato man”, but now he loves all exotic foods and the spicier, the better.  Culture, museums and religion? No way. It was sports, bars and beer.  But now he has been to over 30 countries and loves experiencing new festivals, checking out the hottest art gallery and loves observing religious festivals and exploring Pagoda’s, Churches and Stupas.

Now our last point for surviving your travels as a Couple…

Can a couple survive camping through Africa?

5) Do Things Together - We love to do everything together. We don’t go our separate ways for the day to do what each individual likes. So often we will come across people in our travels that have gone off without their spouse to fulfill their lifelong dream. I find this hard to understand. They are experiencing the most amazing time of their lives, without the one that they love because they weren’t willing to try something new.  You will come back from an experience that has profoundly changed you, so how will you be able to relate to your spouse in the same way anymore?  Dave and I have a hard enough time relating to friends and family when we come back from months on the road, I couldn’t imagine trying to reconnect with him as well.

Couples that Travel Together are happy together

It is by doing things together that has made us who we are today.  I didn’t want to surf in Bali, it was Dave’s life long dream, not mine. I tend to be afraid of the water a little bit. But I did it with him and I am so glad that I did.  I had a great time and the feeling of standing up on that board was like no other.  Now I will surf again when the opportunity arises without question.  I am sure that if those people that stayed at home while their spouse was away would have gone along for the ride, they would have  loved the experience just as much.  They just needed to open their mind in the first place.

Travel can profoundly change a person, and to have the chance to change and grow with your spouse, can only strengthen the relationship and create an unshakable bond that will last forever.  If you follow these easy steps when traveling, your relationship will be able to survive any situation and you will come out of it as a happy and thriving couple that are the envy of all of your friends