India Couple’s Survival Guide, 10 Ways to Keep your Relationship on Track
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India is a difficult travel. Relationships can suffer while experiencing this country. While it helps being a couple because we have each other to rely on and to vent to, it can also take its toll on the relationship because both of your emotions are running high.
Here are some of the things that Dave and I have done to keep sane and enjoy each others company while traveling through India.
1. Splurge. It may stress you out more than the stress of India itself when you spend a weeks budget on one night of accommodation, but your relationship will thank you! Clean sheets, hot shower and the chance to snuggle up to one another in peace, quiet and comfort is just the key. Most beds in guest houses in India are simply two single beds pushed together. I always feel like I am sleeping alone because we have a space between us or it is just too uncomfortable to sleep on that crack in the centre of the bed. A luxurious hotel room will help you reconnect to one another.
2. Go on a Date. India has a lot of movie theaters and chances are you will find one showing an English flick. Make plans to go and see one and then go out for a romantic dinner. Find the most expensive place that you can afford. You will feel almost normal. It’s like date night, only it’s in India.
3. Communicate. It is important to talk about how you are feeling and to vent your frustrations.
Dave and I don’t hold back with one another at all. We talk about everything. (probably because we onl y have each other to talk to most of the time) However, we always discuss what is bothering us and we make plans to fix it.
4. Compromise. I use this one all the time, but it is the most important tip for any couple traveling anywhere in the world. Neither of you will want to do the same thing all the time, but it is important to let each other enjoy your travels. If one of us has our hearts set on an adventure and the other isn’t into it we always reach a compromise. “I’ll do this if you do that with me.” Or, “that bungee jump really terrifies me, how about you bungee jump and I will zip line instead?” If you talk things over rationally, you will almost always come to an agreement.
5. Let go of anger. We have had some excellent arguments here in India. It is easy to blame one another when things go wrong. We fight, get out our frustrations and then let it go. Afterwards we laugh about how ridiculous we were being. But it was by having that fight that allowed us to get it all out and feel better about our situation.
6. Go for a walk on the beach. Get yourself to the beaches of Goa and walk hand in hand on the beach.
Public displays of affection are frowned upon in India so holding hands or snuggling up in public is not proper etiquette. Besides, in most of the country, it is virtually impossible to walk beside one another anyway. You are stuck walking on the side of the road because of the lack of sidewalks. All the while you are dodging speeding traffic, cows, dogs and garbage. Walking is work and you have no time to hold hands or to even think about walking arm in arm. Forget about it, you are on your own. I believe in the power of touch and that couples should touch regularly. Without it you start to feel distant from each other. It is important to make time for it.
7. Find a sanctuary. How civilized is it to order a cappuccino in a cozy coffee shop listening to mellow jazz. Split a piece of cake and read the complimentary English paper. Now take notice of how lucky your are to have the privilege of being able to travel to this fascinating destination together. In peace and quiet, you can actually enjoy conversation about world events and entertainment. Your minds have bonded again and you will feel right back to your old self.
8. Be Grateful. Remember how lucky you are. You are traveling the world with the one you love. It is easy to get hung up on the little things and to be frustrated with each other. But remember, you chose to come to india. It was your dream and you are a lucky human being. You not only get to travel, you get to travel with your loved one. Many people only dream of this experience and many people would love to have someone to travel with and spend their life with. Remember to be thankful for what you have.
10. Get out of the country. Ok, this is extreme. But between the cold, pollution, noise and filth, we couldn’t take it any longer.
Get away to a magnificent beach
After two months we needed a break to save our psyches. India was taking its toll on our relationship. We were short with each other, we were grumpy and not a lot of fun to be around. We bought a ticket to paradise. Sri Lanka. We have a month of from India and our relationship is thanking us.
More Couples Travel Survival Guides and Advice
- Couples travel Survival Guide
- Bring Romance Back to Backpacking
- How Travel as a couple makes life Easier
29 Responses to India Couple’s Survival Guide, 10 Ways to Keep your Relationship on Track
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Re the part about being grumpy all the time, my husband response was that it “sounds familiar” for us too :/
I’m so glad that you’re going to Sri Lanka. We have a soft spot for the country – our first overseas destination together, and we’ve been back many many times since. Please chow down on some egg hoppers and kothu roti on our behalf. Traffic in Colombo can be infuriating but elsewhere, Sri Lanka is generally pretty relaxed. If you can afford some luxuries, shop at Barefoot and Odel, dine at Gallery Cafe, and stay at the Lighthouse (Galle) and Kandalama (Dambulla) – or just make a quick stop at Geoffrey Bawa’s hotels for a looksee. Oh, and avoid climbing up Sigiriya on the weekend – you’ll be jostling with the locals on the rickety metal staircase! Have fun!
.-= Yi Lin´s last blog ..Onwards To The Red Rock State =-.
Oh, visit Galle Face Hotel in Colombo for lunch on the Veranda or an evening drink. The setting and views are beautiful, and the old hotel makes for an interesting walkabout. The rooms in the old wing are cheaper but of questionable standard. I recommend just visiting but staying elsewhere (Cinnamon Grand is nice, but I can’t remember how much it costs.) When visiting Polonnaruwa, consider staying at Deer Park Hotel & Spa with its lush green settings. It’s run by a subsidiary of the famous Banyan Tree Co. but you might get a good rate since tourist numbers to that part of the country aren’t high. Drop me a note anywhere on our blog if you want more info about anything in Sri Lanka!
.-= Yi Lin´s last blog ..Onwards To The Red Rock State =-.
thanks for all of the great suggestions Yi Lin. We will be sure to get to as many of them as we can.
Great advice here! Traveling together certainly is wonderful, but this type of challenging travel is certainly not a honeymoon. I agree that keeping communication is SO important to staying sane and working through problems. The saying “What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger” also works for relationships I think.
I’m wondering, how much of the stress and arguments was dependent traveling in India and how much included the website and other projects. I ask because we tend to be fine (unless one of us has low blood sugar) when we’re just focusing on traveling, but when we have other projects we need to complete or we feel we ought to update our website or upload photos and the internet connection is like a dial-up connection, that’s when we get on edge and get on each other’s nerves. I know it’s hard to separate the two since they become intertwined, but I was just curious.
.-= Audrey´s last blog ..Ecuador, More Than Just the Galapagos: Photo Essays and Panoramas =-.
Hi Audry,
I also agree in the philosophy of what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Although sometimes only in retrospect.
I think most of the stress is caused from running the blog on the road. We set deadlines for ourselves and the challenges of not always having internet, editing photo’s and all of the other things involved with running a travel blog definitely up the aggravation level a lot. Most of the time if we just talk it out it helps ease the stress level.
Yes it is mostly from running the blog because we have traveled great together in the past.
Hi,
This is great advice no matter what you’re doing. And honestly I wish my husband and I would get to travel to some hard core culture shocking places, but for now it’s a bit complicated with a kid, and central america is so not a culture shock to me anymore, it’s totally normal actually!
But I enjoy reading your romantic aspect of it, becasue I actually try to apply this into daily life, which can seem to press relationships too!
.-= marina k. villatoro´s last blog ..Wildlife Costa Rica – 9 Facts About Kinkajous =-.
I agree with everyone – this is very good advice for any couple, at any time, not just when traveling, but it’s so much more important to remember when you are traveling…
My husband and I are together 24×7 (most of the time) so we’ve found that it’s also important to work into our schedule some separate time as well….he may want to go explore something I’m not interested in, so I spend time in a spa then
I love the photos of you two!
.-= Trisha Miller´s last blog ..Suzy: The Finale – Suzy Speaks! =-.
Sounds like you found the secret to being together 24/7. It can be a challenge sometimes but communication if KEY. Love your pics – you both look great – Enjoy Sri Lanka – you deserve it!
You are the second couple I know that had problems in India so you are not alone! The problems were so bad w/ the other couple they ended up coming home a month early from their RTW. They cited the same problems as you – constant frustrations, dirtiness and getting really irritated with each other.
Good for you guys that you were able to recognize what was happening and we’re smart enough to take a break and recharge.
.-= Bethany´s last blog ..Blood, Drugs & Sangria – How To Vacation In A War Zone – Part 3 of a 5 part series. =-.
Hi Bethany,
That is crazy that they ended up coming home early from their trip.
Luckily we have been together for a while and can recognize when it starts to get ugly:-)
Thanks,thoughtful and interesting insights into traveling as a couple. I’ve so enjoyed your posts from India!
.-= Sonya´s last blog ..New Global Voluntours For 2010 =-.
compromise! i know this word very well especially when Chris wants to drag me in the middle of nowhere to go fishing but so far so good, we are still happily traveling. great advices, i must only remind him on the second point!
Hey Marta,
Compromise has always been at the top of the list. It keeps you grounded and happy. And yes going on a date really works Chris!!
Again, you guys ooze honesty and truth, which I couldn’t appreciate more. Thank you!
Great advice. Hope the Sri Lanka travels are going well!
Garrett
Thanks a lot Garrett. We really try to be honest with all of our posts. It helps everyone out in the long run.
And Sri Lanka is going great so far!
Don’t you mean this is the “Couples Survival Guide”? Last time I checked you aren’t Indian. =)
I think this advice is practical no matter what country. Spot on tips and advice!
.-= Andy Hayes | Sharing Travel Experiences´s last blog ..Travel Where You Want =-.
Haha! You are right Andy. I guess I should have titled it Surviving as a Couple in India. That would have been much better. I am terrible with titles. Other people are so smart and funny when they write a title to a post. I am always boring. Oh well, living and learning:) Thanks for liking the tips!
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These are great tips in general for couples who travel together. I always think it is good to spend a little time apart if things are getting tense and I love your “get out of the country” tip. I always enjoy your posts!
.-= Cherrye at My Bella Vita´s last blog ..Monica’s Fine Foods Featuring Calabrian Olive Oil (and a giveaway!) =-.
Thanks Cherrye, I think that we are probably the only people that would suggest get out of the country, but hey, what ever works for us right:-) Thanks for stopping by and it is true, space can be a very good thing.
I love your site. I find it very interesting and have lots of information in it. It helps many people whose problem is about relationship. Many thanks.
.-= Second Chance Letter´s last blog ..YouTube answers your questions about “YouTube Worldwide” next topic is advertising =-.
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Thanks for this post, we, Tristan and I, are heading to India in June for a month and this is great advice. It will be the first time we are traveling by ourselves for such a long period of time (our total trip is 6 months), so it will be a test on our relationship but I’m sure we will get through it. Thanks again, its nice to see someone has gone through this before!
Good luck Dom. Just make sure to take your time and give yourself a break every once in a while. It can be tempting to travel hard at first but then you just end up burning yourself out. Looking forward to seeing how it goes.
Thanks for the post, very interesting. I personally dont think I’d last with my partner for that duration on holiday but, we may still give it a go!
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I don’t think you realize how much we resent people who come to India because it is an “exotic and colourful land” and then bitch about the dirt and pollution and filth to their pals. This isn’t the first world – either learn to appreciate what we have or simply don’t come here. We have enough people here already, haven’t you heard?
Whoever doesn’t get the chance to visit this country and appreciate their culture, is for sure missing out.
Before traveling to a 3rd world country or a country out of your norm, you have to go in prepared and open-minded. India Is the second country with the biggest population in the world, it WILL be crowded, some areas in the cities WILL have traffic jams (like Manhattan), there w
WILL be dirt, just like any other city, there are cows and monkeys. You want to be a traveler and see the world, that’s great, but before considering visiting other countries around the world, you have to read up about them before going, be open minded and respect the culture (which you have by acknowledging that public affection is not much appreciated in India, and I hope you guys learned a lot more about Indias culture). If you put aside all the dirt (which every city has), and the population, etc… You would have seen what a beautiful country it is! Their food is amazing, have you seen a wedding in India? It’s so colorful, fun, and so much joy, and beautiful! Weddings in India are Just WOW!!
Major props to you and your husband for traveling to this country and being brave about it! And also, great advice with the relationship, when traveling as a couple.
Thanks for your comments. You are very right. You have to have an open mind and be prepared for new experiences. There really isn’t a point to traveling if you don’t have an open mind, that is the whole thing we love about it, experiencing new things and being introduced to different cultures and ways of life. Cheers.