There are many solo travel blogs out there that talk about how traveling is solo is great and we admire the people that travel alone.  It takes a strong person of a certain breed that can go out into the world solo and explore.

We are not those people.

Traveling as a couple is all we know.  Having been together since we were in college, Dave and I have only ever traveled together and we have made it work for each other.

Over the years we have developed a system and have found traveling as a couple provides a lot of benefits as opposed to going it alone.

Here are the things that we have found made our life easier because we travel as a couple.

Why Travel as a Couple is Better than Solo Travel

1. Good cop bad cop – When traveling in a third world country everything involves bartering.  Hotel rooms, taxi’s, shopping, tours… everything involves working out a bargain.  Dave is great at playing hardball and if he were a solo traveler people might find him a little too hard and probably wouldn’t get his deals. But traveling as a couple is easier for Dave by having a woman (me) with him smiling as he works his magic helps to smooth the rough edges.  When they are stating a price and he is saying no, they look to me for support. I smile and laugh and they give in a bit while Dave gives in a bit and we all go home happy and having a good time.

2. TLC – Tender Loving Care.  It is inevitable. Everyone is bound to fall ill during travels.  It could be travelers diarrhea, the flu, headache or fatigue.  Having a person take care of you makes everything better.  Being sick while traveling is not fun, but being sick alone in your hotel room is even worse.  Having your other half there to give you sympathy, tell you everything will get better, give you a back rub or bring you some water makes being ill just a little easier to take.

3. Sounding Board- Bartering can be exhausting and sometimes we just don’t know how much to pay for something.  All we can do is discuss it with each other and see if it is a price that we are happy with.  We can sound off on each other to see if a person is ripping us off and we can slow each other down before buying too impulsively.  It helps out the budget a lot. Traveling alone you have to go with your instincts and hope for the best. Traveling as a couple, you can discuss things rationally first and then make an informed desicion.

4. Strengths – We each have our own strengths in the relationship and can divide the workload.  I am very good at packing and organizing and Dave is very good at planning and researching.  If we had to rely on me to plan a trip, we wouldn’t see anything. If Dave were in charge of packing, we would have the entire house including the kitchen sink.  I don’t have the attention span to do research, but Dave is great at checking out what there is to do in a place.  When traveling as a couple we can use each others strengths to make things run smoothly.  I putter around the room organizing, washing the clothes and packing up the bags while Dave reads up on the place. He runs it by me after he has thoroughly explored what we should do and we are both happy.  Dave and I are a little anomaly, we like the same things, feel the same about places and situations and have the same interests. It can be annoying to other people, but it makes travel very easy for this adventure couple.

5.  Sharing the Experience – Couples that Travel together get to share the experience together.  It is admirable that people are self-sufficient and fulfilled enough to enjoy a place on their own.  We however need someone to share it with.  There is nothing better than enjoying a beautiful sunrise, conquering a great peak or witnessing a rare site with the person that you love.  We have built memories together to talk about for years to come.

6. Inspiration – Traveling as a couple can open each other up to new opportunities.  We can inspire each other to try new things.   If one of us is a little wary of something, we can be each others cheerleaders.  We love telling each other just how great we are

7. Safety – Traveling together offers a little more safety than traveling solo.  Getting into a rickshaw or taxi feels a lot better when there are two of you as opposed to being alone.  Safety in numbers we always say.  We can watch each others backs and not feel threatened.  Many times I say to Dave, “I don’t know how people can do this alone.” But they can and do and they are a stronger person than me. I will stick to traveling with Dave.

8. Care for our Gear -We can keep an eye on our packs and gear when one of us has to go to the bathroom or buy some tickets.  Someone can stay with the packs while another gets in line. As a couple, our gear is never left alone on a train or bus or anywhere.  Someone is always there to keep an eye on it and we don’t have to worry about bringing our bags into nasty bathrooms to keep an eye on it. I can even give Dave my scarf and purse when I have to go into a scary toilet.  You don’t want to take the chance of anything falling in, so having someone to hold onto your things eliminates that problem.

9. Company – We see a lot of solo travelers at dinner. While I tend to be a chatty one and strike up a conversation with them, (most times they are happy to talk) I see many people just reading a book or sitting silently.   I know, I know, a lot of people like being alone.  We just aren’t those people.  We love talking at dinner, playing travel scrabble or cards, we love to talk talk about the days events and we just never seem to get bored.  Even on a long train ride, we have company.   When we hook up with other travelers or people on the road it is even better.  We are a couple that loves have company,  the more the merrier on our journey we say.

10. Support - Travel can be exhausting.  People hassle you daily for rickshaw rides, tours and any other sale they can think of.  Sometimes you just don’t want to talk to anyone.  Traveling as a couple can allow each of us to have a break when we need it.  When one of us is having an off day, the other can take over.  They can field the questions and shelter the other person.  When one of us is feeling stronger than the other, we can take over the duties of inspecting hotel rooms to make sure they are livable, deciding on a price or simply answering the questions of a curious local.  The other person can sit and wallow for a couple of hours or for the day and not have to deal with a thing or talk to anyone.  It works out very well having a support system.  We also have each other to vent to so that we don’t have to take our frustrations out on the poor receptionist or vendor.  We couldn’t travel if we didn’t have each other for support.

While we admire all the solo travelers out there, we are very happy to be able to travel with the person that we love. Maybe one day some of you solo travelers will find that certain someone to allow you to give traveling as a couple a shot!  It can be an adjustment to have someone around every day, but we think traveling as a couple is a very rewarding experience.

India is a difficult travel.  Relationships can suffer while experiencing this country.  While it helps being a couple because we have each other to rely on and to vent to, it can also take its toll on the relationship because both of your emotions are running high.

Here are some of the things that Dave and I have done to keep sane and enjoy each others company while traveling through India.

1. Splurge. It may stress you out more than the stress of India itself when you spend a weeks budget on one night of accommodation, but your relationship will thank you! Clean sheets, hot shower and the chance to snuggle up to one another in peace, quiet and comfort is just the key.  Most beds in guest houses in India are simply two single beds pushed together.  I always feel like I am sleeping alone because we have a space between us or it is just too uncomfortable to sleep on that crack in the centre of the bed.  A luxurious hotel room will help you reconnect to one another.

2. Go on a Date. India has a lot of movie theaters and chances are you will find one showing an English flick.  Make plans to go and see one and then go out for a romantic dinner.  Find the most expensive place that you can afford.  You will feel almost normal. It’s like date night, only it’s in India.

3. Communicate. It is important to talk about how you are feeling and to vent your frustrations.

Dave and I don’t hold back with one another at all.  We talk about everything.  (probably because we onl y have each other to talk to most of the time) However, we always discuss what is bothering us and we make plans to fix it.

4. Compromise. I use this one all the time, but it is the most important tip for any couple traveling anywhere in the world. Neither of you will want to do the same thing all the time, but it is important to let each other enjoy your travels.  If one of us has our hearts set on an adventure and the other isn’t into it we always reach a compromise.  “I’ll do this if you do that with me.” Or, “that bungee jump really terrifies me, how about you bungee jump and I will zip line instead?”  If you talk things over rationally, you will almost always come to an agreement.

5. Let go of anger. We have had some excellent arguments here in India.  It is easy to blame one another when things go wrong.  We fight, get out our frustrations and then let it go.  Afterwards we laugh about how ridiculous we were being.  But it was by having that fight that allowed us to get it all out and feel better about our situation.

6. Go for a walk on the beach. Get yourself to the beaches of  Goa and walk hand in hand on the beach.

Public displays of affection are frowned upon in India so holding hands or snuggling up in public is not proper etiquette.  Besides, in most of the country, it is virtually impossible to walk beside one another anyway.  You are stuck walking on the side of the road because of the lack of sidewalks.  All the while you are dodging speeding traffic, cows, dogs and garbage.  Walking is work and you have no time to hold hands or to even think about walking arm in arm.  Forget about it, you are on your own.  I believe in the power of touch and that couples should touch regularly.  Without it you start to feel distant from each other.  It is important to make time for it.

7. Find a sanctuary. How civilized is it to order a cappuccino in a cozy coffee shop listening to mellow jazz.  Split a piece of cake and read the complimentary English paper.  Now take notice of how lucky your are to have the privilege of being able to travel to this fascinating destination together.  In peace and quiet, you can actually enjoy conversation about world events and entertainment.  Your minds have bonded again and you will feel right back to your old self.

8. Be Grateful. Remember how lucky you are.  You are traveling the world with the one you love.  It is easy to get hung up on the little things and to be frustrated with each other.  But remember, you chose to come to india.  It was your dream and you are a lucky human being.  You not only get to travel, you get to travel with your loved one.  Many people only dream of this experience and many people would love to have someone to travel with and spend their life with.  Remember to be thankful for what you have.

10. Get out of the country. Ok, this is extreme. But between the cold, pollution, noise and filth, we couldn’t take it any longer.

Get away to a magnificent beach

After two months we needed a break to save our psyches.  India was taking its toll on our relationship.  We were short with each other, we were grumpy and not a lot of fun to be around.  We bought a ticket to paradise. Sri Lanka. We have a month of from India and our relationship is thanking us.

More Couples Travel Survival Guides and Advice

• Couples travel Survival Guide
• Bring Romance Back to Backpacking
• How Travel as a couple makes life Easier

The Famous BackPacker Ghetto of Kho San Road Bangkok

So you have been backpacking through South East Asia for a couple of months. You have travelled through several countries trekking over mountains, sleeping in dingy guest houses, wearing the same clothes for days and you haven’t had a decent shower in I don’t know how long.  Not the makings of a romantic travel situation for you and your partner.

Just like any other time in your life, couples that travel need to make the time to keep the relationship sizzling.  Backpacking is no exception. You can get so caught up in treks, seeing sights and partying, that you can loose sight of each other and simply turn into traveling buddies.  Well, here are some things you can do in South East Asia to chill out and bring a little romance back into your backpacking adeventure.

The romantic setting of Ubud brings back all romance to travels

1. Go for a massage and floral bath in Ubud, Bali – What better location than the centre of Bali surrounded by rice terraces, volcanoes, lush jungle and a feeling of what Bali must have felt like decades ago to take time for romance in your travels.  To the soft sound of traditional Balinese Music,  you can have your aching muscles worked on as you relax side by side.  It doesn’t end there. After you have completely relaxed, walk into the next room where a floral bath awaits.  When was the last time you had a bath during your travels in Asia?  You milk it for all its worth and sit in that tub until your skin prunes.  But you don’t care, you are rejuvenated, mellow and smelling a whole lot better.  Maybe a trip to the market is in order to spice up your travel clothes.  Top off the night with some wine and cheese at the Delicat restaurant.

A Pool in Paridise Makes Everyone Happy

A fine hotel will bring back any romance

2. Splurge on a hotel. We love Wotif.com to find an executive suite in Kuala Lumpur (or any big city for that matter).  We did this after months on the road, and it was heaven.  It cut into our budget a bit, but it was worth it.  For under $100 you can stay in a deluxe hotel at an extremely discounted rate.  We loved sitting in our white robes on our queen size bed so much that we went back to the Internet and booked another night.  It was worth every minute and we were ready to face the hassles of travel fresh and relaxed.  Yes, there was a pool too, but as many of you travelers know, a clean, comfortable and decadent bed is a luxury for any travel couple and we didn’t leave it for 2 days.

A Cruise Through Ha Long Bay to Bring Back Romance

3. Take a cruise on Ha Long Bay- Bring along some Vang Dalat, Vietnams cheap red wine and cruise through Vietnams most spectacular destination, the magnificent Ha Long Bay.  Lay on the top deck and watch the unique landscape pass you by.  You are surrounded by giant khart; thousands of limestone islands burst out of the South China Sea. The sky is blue and the breeze is cool and clam. You are fed a gourmet meal by an excellent cruise staff and will enjoy an evening under the stars in the most romantic place on earth.

Nha Trang Mud Baths to rekindle the Romance

4.Mud Baths of Nha Trang – So you have been fighting the touts of Vietnam for days, the pollution is taking its toll on your skin and that cracked heel that you developed just won’t go away.  You need a rest.  Just outside of Nha Trang there is a romantic little getaway, the theraputic mud baths.  Cover yourself in this cool goo and bake away your worries in the sun.  After rinsing off under the shower, pop into a hot tub and clear your mind.  The serenity and peace can lift your spirits back up to face the rigors of travel in Vietnam.  But wait, you can’t leave yet, you need to stretch this out for as long as possible.  Never fear, there is a warm pool that you can swim in and relax by.  Stay all day chatting with each other with no fear of being interrupted to buy a book or some flowers.  Just watch how you start to reconnect with each other and have those romantic feelings come surging back.

5. Meditate in Chang Mai – You can book a private 2 to 5 meditation course in Thailand’s Northern city of Chang Mai.  What better way to reconnect than to meditate together.  We had a private session where we learned how to meditate to music, did a laughing meditation and eventually worked our way into a full meditative silence.  Our teacher cooked us traditional vegetarian dishes, and we ended each day with learning some Tai Chi.  With both of us centered and relaxed, we could easily get through our travels in a more Zen Like state.  It is a wonderful thing to do together, you will both be feeling refreshed and optimistic at the same time.

Splurge on a nice meal for travel romance

Other Travel Romance Ideas

• Go on a dinner cruise-you are in a land that has water everywhere.  Splurge on a romantic night out feasting on the water.  Almost all destinations offer dinner cruises and nothing brings two people together more that fresh air, good food and gorgeous scenery.
• Take a traditional cooking course.  These are everywhere and can be a lot of fun. Fun is important in any relationship.
• Massage, Massage everywhere.  The thing that I love about South East Asia are the massages everywhere.  You can get a cheap traditional massage that does wonders for the backpackers body.  On the beach in Thailand, On the Beach in Vietnam,  In Lao, Indonesia.  In Cambodia, get the best massage at one the healing hands massage clinics where highly trained blind masseurs take care of every joint. In Malaysia, try something different and get a traditional reflexology foot massage. It can be painful, but they will fix you right up.
• Take the time to just be.  Too often we run around catching busses, seeing attractions, jumping on a trek and ticking things off of our list, that we don’t stop to just relax for a few days and do nothing. It is important to take the time to watch the sun go down and walk on  the beach with no plans for rushing off any time soon. Just Be.

Relaxing will Help you reconnect

Together on the River in the Sudan

Traveling as a couple can be difficult.

Many people will say that it can make or break a relationship.
Dave and I have traveled for months at a time together on several occasions, and we have always found that we bond even more while we are on the road. We influence and inspire each other to try new things.  We share in unique experiences and talk about them together for years to come.
We find that traveling as a couple has turned us into more well-rounded human beings than traveling alone. By keeping our minds open to each others suggestions, we end up exploring things that we never would have tried in the first place. And we end up liking things that we never thought possible.

That is not to say that being together 24/7 is easy it can be test a couple’s relationship to the fullest to be together that long day in day out, but we have found that if we follow a few of these simple rules, we can survive and thrive when we travel together as a couple.

The Travel Couple Survival Guide

1) Compromise - This is our number one recommendation to survive traveling as a couple.  We have found that a lot of couples are not willing to do this on a short vacation or even in their every day lives.. How will they survive and get along traveling for months at a time without compromise? It may sound stereotypical, but I have found that most couples are pretty much the same when it comes to what men like and women like. Men will normally go for the high adventure and sports related activities while women enjoy exploring culture, hitting the spa or shopping.  Well guess what, even Dave and I are the same way. I enjoy a good massage, a great deals on clothes and exploring museums and Dave loves jumping off of cliffs and catching waves.

Figuring it out

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Over the years however, we have both learned to enjoy both activities. We plan and discuss what each person wants to do, and then we compromise.  “I will do this if you will do that.” We will go off and climb a mountain together and bond over the incredible experience. Our relationship is so much stronger because we have just survived something extraordinary together. Once we have done the crazy extreme adrenaline filled activity we celebrate by splurging on a nice hotel and massage to really relax and enjoy the moment.
When we first started traveling, I didn’t want to spend all of my time trekking through the jungle and Dave didn’t want to spend all of his time looking at local art. Now after several years of being on the road together as a couple, we both love it all.  I can’t wait to climb my next volcano, and Dave loves bartering with the toughest salesmen for the perfect deal.

Acheiving great heights as a couple

2) Communication – This really is the key to a surviving in a relationship at anytime let alone when traveling.  I think that the success of our relationship is how well we communicate. We never play mind games and we talk about everything.  People always point out how difficult it is for men to understand women and vice versa, but I can never understand why they think that.
Dave and I know exactly when the other one is angry or upset.  It is pretty easy to read each other.  Sure, we could play dumb and ignore the signs, but really, we are all open books if you pay attention.

Most people ignore the problem hoping it will go away.

Lets face it, we all react differently to situations and while one of you may be completely enjoying an experience, the other may be hating every minute of it. The key is to not ignore how the other person is feeling. If you are at a festival or religious ceremony that is maybe uncomfortable or upsetting to your spouse, make sure to be aware of that persons feelings even if you are completely fascinated by it.  If you talk about it, you will understand where they are coming from and be more sympathetic, while you can persuade them to enjoy the moment and accept that it is something different.  No matter what, that person will feel better because you took the time to listen, and like everything in life, by talking about things, they probably won’t be so uncomfortable or upset anymore.

If you ignore how each other feels however, you will both come out of it angry; One of you for feeling that the other person ruined the moment for you, and the other for thinking that you didn’t care about their feelings.  Just save yourself the hassle and communicate. Then you can move on.

Which is a perfect segue to my next point.

The great outdoors bonds this couple together

3) Be willing to fight - As a couple, if you can’t fight with each other, you can’t survive traveling together.  We have had some epic arguments on the road, but we get over them quickly.  Travel can be frustrating, exhausting and overwhelming.  You are stuck with each other for every single moment of it and when tensions run high, you only have each other to take it out on.  Sometimes you can simply be angry because you have been traveling for 24 hours and you are exhausted.  So you take out your frustrations on the nearest person, which just happens to be your husband.  Of course you are going to fight.  You will blame each other when things go wrong and you will get on each others nerves at times.

The little things can be magnified when travelling as a couple

The biggest mistake you can make is holding it all in. It will make for a miserable experience.  Have the fight and get it over with, but then move on.  I remember once in Kanchanaburi, Thailand we couldn’t find the place that we wanted to stay at on the river.  We walked forever with our packs in the heat, and we eventually ended up on a lonely road lost in the middle of nowhere.  We were so mad at each other that we had to walk 100 metres apart.  We couldn’t stand to be around each other, but we had to keep each other in sight because we were lost. So we kept our distance and wallowed in our anger silently.  When we finally found our place and settled in, we said to each other, “I don’t feel like fighting anymore do you?” The answer was “No” of course and we went on with our day and had a great time.

Which brings us too…

4) Knowing each Others boundaries - It is good to know what is too much for one person. When traveling as a couple, you have to be aware of each others fears.  Base jumping out of a hot air balloon is a little too much for me, and Dave will draw the line at a facial or a manicure.  Don’t force something on each other when you know that there is no way the other is going to give in.  Compromise is one thing, but pushing each other beyond their comfort zone is another.  Over time, you will probably be able to get each other to try almost everything, but take baby steps at first.

Changing over Time

When we first started traveling, it was difficult for Dave to get me into a budget hotel.  Now I have camped my way through Africa, I have no qualms with squatting in a pretty awful public toilet and hey, if the bed doesn’t come with sheets, well never fear, I have brought my trusty sarong along for just that occasion.  I was afraid of heights and freaked out doing my first abseil, but now I am an avid rock climber and have even summitted Kilimanjaro. Baby steps have eventually turned me into an extreme adventurer.
And as for Dave, well when we first started traveling, he didn’t care if we ever left Canada. He was fine with the odd vacation to the Caribbean where he could go Para Sailing or scuba diving to get his adrenaline fix. He used to care about cars, gadgets and toys but now, he is a minimalist because “you never know when you will be taking off again and stuffing everything into storage.”  He was a staple “meat and potato man”, but now he loves all exotic foods and the spicier, the better.  Culture, museums and religion? No way. It was sports, bars and beer.  But now he has been to over 30 countries and loves experiencing new festivals, checking out the hottest art gallery and loves observing religious festivals and exploring Pagoda’s, Churches and Stupas.

Now our last point for surviving your travels as a Couple…

Can a couple survive camping through Africa?

5) Do Things Together - We love to do everything together. We don’t go our separate ways for the day to do what each individual likes. So often we will come across people in our travels that have gone off without their spouse to fulfill their lifelong dream. I find this hard to understand. They are experiencing the most amazing time of their lives, without the one that they love because they weren’t willing to try something new.  You will come back from an experience that has profoundly changed you, so how will you be able to relate to your spouse in the same way anymore?  Dave and I have a hard enough time relating to friends and family when we come back from months on the road, I couldn’t imagine trying to reconnect with him as well.

Couples that Travel Together are happy together

It is by doing things together that has made us who we are today.  I didn’t want to surf in Bali, it was Dave’s life long dream, not mine. I tend to be afraid of the water a little bit. But I did it with him and I am so glad that I did.  I had a great time and the feeling of standing up on that board was like no other.  Now I will surf again when the opportunity arises without question.  I am sure that if those people that stayed at home while their spouse was away would have gone along for the ride, they would have  loved the experience just as much.  They just needed to open their mind in the first place.

Travel can profoundly change a person, and to have the chance to change and grow with your spouse, can only strengthen the relationship and create an unshakable bond that will last forever.  If you follow these easy steps when traveling, your relationship will be able to survive any situation and you will come out of it as a happy and thriving couple that are the envy of all of your friends